I am a complementarian. Simply stated, I believe that God has made men and women with different roles in all of life. Within the marriage relationship, as each person fulfills their biblically defined, God ordained roles, they are “complete”, or “complement” one another. (Not compliment, though they may do that from time to time.) The late Adrian Rogers explained this very clearly when he said, “A hammer and a screwdriver are different tools designed for different jobs. Is the hammer better than the screwdriver? No. Is a screwdriver better than a hammer? Of course not! Can you use a screwdriver as a hammer? Maybe, but it won’t work as well… A man is infinitely superior to a woman at being a man, and a woman is infinitely superior to a man at being a woman. Men and women are different—by design. Neither is superior to the other, but they are very, very different.”
If you have never heard of the terms complementarian or egalitarian I encourage you to at least read this simple article. If you are brave check its sources, download this book, go to CBMW.org, or follow Denny Burk. (You should following Dr. Burk’s blog regardless)
I just wanted to take a moment to “account for life”/preach to self and maybe challenge other men to be complementarianly courageous:
- Be Courageous! Do hard things. Don’t waste your life. Be candid. Tell the truth. Don’t fear what others think about you or the God given passions of a Godly man’s life. Accept your role as a leader, and lead!
- Take responsibility! Take responsibility as the one who will pastor, provide, and be the prophet for your home. Study the Word and teach it to your family. Set the agenda for how your home will honor the Lord.
- Work hard! Work hard at everything. Stop whining. Stop letting your wife work harder than you. Show your kids that hard work is good. Don’t forget the balance of rest and avoid work idolatry.
- Love your wives! Paul said we should love our wives as Christ loved the church. Christ gave himself up for her. Sacrifice for her well-being. How are you at demonstrating Christ’s love for the church as you love your wife? Stop being selfish. Be a warrior ready to do battle over things that take away your attention from fulfilling your role as a husband.
- Serve your family! Let your children see that you love Christ, you love your wife, and you love them. Be wildly consistent to serve your family as its leader. Tell other people no. Make family a priority, but not a deity.